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Pauline Gekas is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has practiced in the Fox Valley area for over 25 years. In addition to seeing couples and individuals who are struggling with relationships, Ms. Gekas also treats individuals with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, stress, grief, and postpartum mood disorders.
Ms. Gekas received her Bachelor's Degree at Loyola University of Chicago and her Master's Degree at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. She is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and is an approved provider for Blue Cross/Blue Shield, PHCS, MHN, Magellan Health Services and United Behavioral Health.
"I feel my strengths as a therapist, apart from my experience and theoretical knowledge, are my acceptance, compassion, clarity, directness and sense of humor."
Click on a topic below to learn more about Pauline’s areas of specialty:
Marriage& Family Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Postpartum Mood Disorders
Public Speaking/ Presentations
Marriage and Family Therapy
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY
Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are trained in systems theory and approach couple and family problems as a complex loop of interrelated behaviors. During Marriage and Family Therapy the "client" is the marriage and/or the family. MFTs strive to improve and support marriages and families as well as the individual members therein. Although MFTs are dedicated to supporting marriages, they certainly recognize that not all marriages can be saved. MFTs can be very effective in helping couples or individuals who are contemplating divorce and can help parents minimize the impact of divorce on their children.
Besides dealing with marital and family problems, MFTs also approach individual problems (such as depression) by exploring not only the individual's issues, but also whether the family is being supportive or contributing to the problem. Therefore, MFT's can be invaluable when dealing with a wide range of individual problems.
Because of their training in systems theory, MFTs also deal with a wide range of relationship issues such as work and social relationships. Problems with co-workers, superiors and extended family and friends may be addressed with an MFT.
Is Your Marriage in Need of a Tune-up?
Marriage counseling can be very helpful in getting couples through difficult times. Think of marriage as an automobile – it should be taken in for service at the sound of strange noises and/or when warning lights go on i.e., when arguments increase or one or both partners begin to experience dissatisfaction. If these signs are ignored until the engine blows and the car won't run, it is very likely that the mechanic may say the car needs a new engine. What could have been something relatively minor has now become a lengthy and costly proposition.
Truly accurate statistics are not available as to how many marriages are saved by counseling. However, even if these numbers were available, they would not accurately reveal how helpful counseling can be. The truth of the matter is that most couples come to therapy too late, often after one partner has asked for a divorce i.e., after the engine has blown. It takes a great deal for a person to come to such a decision and often there is no turning back.
What are the signs that a marriage may be in trouble? John Gottman, one of the foremost marriage researchers and therapists in the country outlined four serious signs of trouble, as follows:
"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse":
• Criticism: attacking the person rather than the behavior;
• Defensiveness: not addressing the concerns of your partner and making excuses for your behavior;
• Stonewalling: withdrawing and becoming non-communicative; and
• Contempt: showing a lack of respect for your partner.
Any of these are warning signs that a marriage may be in trouble. Gottman says "The Four Horsemen" are predictors of divorce. Of course there are other signs (e.g., feeling that one’s needs are being ignored even after having clearly and often stated them to a partner).
Couples need to be educated so that they consider counseling as soon as they are having difficulties, i.e., when those strange noises and warning lights go on. (This does not necessarily mean that a marriage cannot be saved when on the brink of divorce. Often the intensity of such a crisis lends itself to dramatic and beneficial change.) Too many couples wait until the situation is so dire that there is not much left to work with when trying to save the marriage.
Think of marriage counseling as a marriage “tune-up” and don't wait for the engine to blow!
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. If we are experiencing unwanted feelings and behaviors, it is important to identify the thinking that is causing the feelings and behaviors and to learn how to replace this thinking with thoughts that lead to more desirable reactions. If our thoughts are causing our feelings and behavior rather than external factors like people, situations and events, then we can change the way we think to feel and act better, even if the situation does not change. CBT empowers us to have the life we desire.
CBT is generally brief and solution-focused. It is recognized as one of the most effective techniques in treating a multitude of problems such as depression and anxiety and it plays a prominent role in evidenced-based therapies.
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Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
SOLUTION-FOCUSED BRIEF THERAPY
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is just what it says. It does not approach a problem by looking to the past, but rather formulates a plan to achieve the desired goal. It is direct and involves homework assignments. It works toward positive change and therefore does not waste time with extensive family history and past problems. The strengths of the client are underscored and brought to bear on the solution.
Unlike some other approaches to therapy that believe it is important to understand the roots of a problem, SFBT believes that even when one understands why one has a problem, you are still left with what you will do about the problem. So rather than spend a great deal of time on the why, it proceeds to what you can do to make things better.
Post-Partum Mood Disorders
POSTPARTUM MOOD DISORDERS
Postpartum Mood Disorders are very common, as evidenced by the information below. For several years Pauline Gekas has worked as the co-leader of Women in Need (W.I.N.), a support group for women with postpartum mood disorders, as well as counseled privately with a number of these women. The experience Pauline gained is invaluable. In conjunction with her work as an individual therapist and with W.I.N., Pauline has attended numerous seminars and educational conferences, and has studied extensively in the areas of postpartum disorders and related topics; not many therapists in this geographical area have this depth of experience. However, Pauline does not consider herself an expert in the area of postpartum psychosis, given the rarity of this disorder and the few clients that have been affected. But she has been blessed to work with countless others who struggle daily with their roles as mothers.
Could I or someone I love be suffering from Postpartum Mood Disorder?
t is extremely common for women to go through a very emotional period following child birth. Lasting approximately two weeks, this period is generally called the Baby Blues and is most likely due to the extreme fluctuation in hormones following the birth of a child. This period can be characterized by unexplained crying and irritability and generally resolves itself without much help from the outside.
For many women, however, a number of symptoms may continue for a longer period of time or may surface within the first year of the child's life. For many of these women, outside help is very helpful, and often times necessary, in seeing them through this difficult time.
Many of us have heard of "postpartum depression". Unfortunately, we also have heard of women who hurt their children or themselves, and we mistakenly may think "That's not how I'm feeling, so I must not have postpartum depression." Unfortunately the media does not always clarify that most of the cases you hear or read about in the media are cases of women who suffer from postpartum psychosis, which is quite rare and occurs in only 1 in 1000 births. Women suffering from postpartum psychosis generally have symptoms of psychosis within the first week or two of delivery. These women are not completely in touch with reality, often hear voices and do not feel in control of their actions. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency that requires hospitalization.
Many women however, approximately 20%, experience postpartum depression which may be characterized by sadness, crying, not enjoying things they previously enjoyed, not feeling connected to their baby, difficulty sleeping, anger, difficulty concentrating, lethargy, etc. The exact cause of postpartum depression is unknown, although hormones are thought to play a part. Adoptive parents can also experience postpartum mood disorders; men too can experience some of these feelings. There are many factors that can contribute to any of these mood disorders, such as the loss of a parent at an early age, physical or sexual abuse, and a predisposition to anxiety, depression, self-criticism, or medical complications at the time of delivery (either the mother or the infant). Medication can be very effective and often times necessary in resolving this depression. Counseling and support groups can also be very helpful.
There are other problems that might trouble a mother after the birth of her child that might seem to have nothing to do with depression, and therefore go undiagnosed. The most common of these is postpartum anxiety disorder. The overwhelming responsibility that faces a woman caring for a newborn infant is understandable; some women, however, have extreme difficulty managing the anxiety they feel when faced with a crying baby, the multitude of decisions that have to be made, and/or the marketing-induced worry of adequately stimulating their infant. They may not feel depressed, but the anxiety may lead them to tears. They may be unable to relax and/or get adequate sleep.
Some women may develop post-partum obsessive-compulsive disorder, particularly regarding issues of cleanliness or infant safety (e.g., constantly checking the baby). A few may develop postpartum panic disorder, characterized by panic attacks with physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, or heart palpitations. All of these can be helped with counseling or with professional support. Some may be helped by medication. Most of these medications are safe to take even when nursing, but the woman should always consult her physician, who can advise on the effectiveness and safety of specific drugs.
Women in the Fox Valley are fortunate to have a postpartum support group sponsored by Delnor Hospital and held at Tricity Family Services. The group is co-led by a lactation consultant from Delnor and a family therapist. The group is free of charge and meets Tuesday mornings from 10 – 11:30 a.m. Call TriCity Family Services (630-232-1070) for more information.
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Public Speaking/Presentations
PUBLIC SPEAKING / PRESENTATIONS
Ms. Gekas has presented numerous talks on grief, parenting, relationships, postpartum mood disorders, stress management and achieving one's goals. Please contact her through Mind-Body-Spirit to discuss how she might be of service to your organization.
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